I Think I Have Emotionally Immature Parents. Now What?
The way emotionally immature parents are in relationship with you is pervasive. The wounds they leave behind don’t have a clear “beginning” and “ending.” Though not all emotionally immature parents present the same way, they do tend to struggle with similar characteristics and leave a similar impact on you, their adult child.
Emotionally mature parents are typically nurturing and protective and are capable of setting structure and offering guidance. Emotionally immature parents, on the other hand, tend to struggle with one or more of these categories. They tend to be distant, rejecting, neglectful, highly critical, self-involved, or even abusive. Essentially, emotionally immature parents are as described: emotionally stunted and stuck—they are chronologically adults, but their emotional behavior, responses, and reactions come from a place similar to someone much, much younger.
Yes, the Imposter Syndrome You Experience is That Deep.
Imposter syndrome is defined by a strong doubt and a lack of belief in who you are and your abilities. But it’s more than that. It also shows up as the idea that when you are yourself, demonstrate your genuine traits, or take up space, that others will cast you out as a liar. Basically, imposter syndrome says, “everyone is waiting to prove that you are a fraud.” You keep waiting for the moment that everyone will figure out that are not the person you claim to be.
Imposter syndrome typically shows up in how you feel towards and around others: you start to feel like you are always putting on a show. You tell yourself that you have to look a certain way so that no one figures out you are really something or someone else. Let's explore some common signs of imposter syndrome to help you identify it in yourself.
A Trauma Therapist’s 5 Tips for Reparenting Yourself
Reparenting is an important part of healing in trauma therapy and recovery. During childhood, if you felt powerless and your needs were unmet and under-valued, reparenting offers you the opportunity to take back your power. In reparenting, you as the capable, choice-making adult get to use your capacities to witness and honor the needs and safety that the younger and past versions of you did not have access to. You are able to create that very safety, nurture, and wisdom now. You get to become your own internal parent and compass. So what are some steps you can take to reparent yourself?
Read more for 5 tips!
But She’s Your Mom! Unpacking 5 Signs of Mother Wounds
It sends chills up your spine—when someone doesn’t get it and keeps urging you to get in touch with your mom. Your relationship with her is…complicated. One moment you feel like you “should” be best friends with her and confide everything in her. But the next minute? You feel betrayed, guilty, and horrible. Sometimes being around her does not feel good at all. You just don’t get it! Could it be that there is more to your relationship with her than you have explored before?
Let’s dive into the complexities and signs of mother wounding.
What is Childhood Trauma? Understanding the Signs and Impact
Childhood trauma usually can’t be isolated to one specific event. Instead, it’s a mishmash of multiple confusing, insidious, and murky overwhelming moments. That’s because the experiences that fall under the category of childhood trauma are both relational (happening between people) and systemic (created by external, oppressive forces).
What is Parentification Trauma? How it Happens & How to Heal
Parentification trauma is the impact of continued, ongoing relational and external stressors by not having access to developmentally appropriate experiences in childhood (safety, nurture, protection, free play, guidance) and feeling pressure and necessity to assume an adult role during childhood. When adults in a family have high external stress and unmet internal needs, they are less able to look to their children as their children. This means that the skills and space to offer guidance, protection, and nurture are not as present.
When you needed something, what happened? Chances are, someone was too busy or got annoyed with you for asking. If you did not show up as the parent for the adults around you, chaos ensued. Now, the repeated exhaustion, terror/panic over making a mistake, people pleasing, hyper-independence, and difficulty with feeling taken care of is telling you something. The impact of parentification trauma is hitting you, mind and body.